My brother has always … well, at least since we were in high school … said to me, “Lori, you live in a bubble. It’s not real life in there. It’s a bubble world.”
It’s true. Sorta true. Pretty much true. I have lived in a bubble. And, I have recently realized that I might have to pop the bubble. Well, at the very least, I’m going to have to visit the outside world a little more often. Have I lost you completely yet? Ha! Okay, I’ll back up. You see, what I mean by “bubble” is … a cocoon of sorts. I like a good, happy cocoon. A safe space. I wrap myself up in the familiar, the comfortable, the happy. I cover myself in it and I just sorta … live there. In high school, my “bubble” consisted of my family and my sweet friends. It was peaceful there. I liked it and for the most part, I skirted on by with minimal teenage angst. Did I need to pay attention to the outside world? Did I? Seemed kinda intimidating out there. Other people are hurting?? What? No. I’ll just stay in the bubble.
College brought newfound freedom and fun … and sorority. Once again, I found my happy “bubble”. Friends + Fun, all wrapped up in a big ‘ole sorority house. Always and forever, when I tell people (non-sorority-ish people) that I lived in a house with 35 girls, they think I’m completely crazy. They think I’m straight up nuts. But, it was good. It was the cocoon to beat all cocoons. It was the best bubble! So, I did the college thing and I did the sorority thing and … 9/11 happened and everyone’s bubble was burst. You could see the pain. Visible, aching pain. And, it hurts to watch others hurting, doesn’t it?
After college, it was … busy … jobs, job searches, love, leaving home, illness, etc. Time marches on. I wrapped myself up in my marriage and building a home. Then, when babies came, it was full on cocoon time again. I basically shut out the world. I turned off the television. No need to watch the news. No need to see the pain of the world. No need to know. I’ll just stay safe right here, right? I’ll keep my little ones in this bubble. We’ll be safe. Right? This world is scary. Maybe if we ignore it … we won’t see all the pain, all the hurt. We won’t feel all of hurt.
That’s the thing I think. We want to love others. We want to help heal the world. We want love to win. But, this world is hard. Whether we do it right, wrong, good, bad or ugly … it doesn’t matter, because the world is hard. And, it hurts to see others hurting. A few weeks ago, a dear friend found out that the baby she is carrying has Trisomy 18. Her sweet baby isn’t expected to live long after birth. Her news broke my heart. Yet, her baby has a specific purpose. Her baby’s life will mean something. And, last week one of my closest friend’s sister lost her boyfriend. He was shot in front of a stranger’s house. She’s 20. He was 21. Her pain is real. She is left searching for answers to a puzzle that quite possibly won’t ever make any sense. It is so hard to grasp all the hurt that exists.
I guess, that’s why I wrapped myself up in my bubble for awhile. My heart is a little on the tender side. I can feel. A lot. When I allow myself to be open, to feel the pain of others, I do … I feel their pain. And, it hurts. This world is so broken and fragile and lost … it’s so full of pain. I’m not sure my heart can handle it all, and yet … We are called to love each other … We need each other. We actually can make a difference. We have to open our eyes though.
“Lord, let me be where you want me to be and see what you want me to see.”
I said that I wanted to “deepen” in 2015, didn’t I? (See A Fresh, New Year). I said it. I said I wanted to deepen our hearts and our spirits, and that’s what we (we, as in, our family) are doing. And, y’all. Things are happening. The Lord is working in my heart and in my life. I can just … taste it. Once you open yourself up. Once you say, “Hey, God. Use me. Transform me. Give me a new perspective. Grow me. Use me.” Once you say it. “Lord, let me be where you want me to be and see what you want me to see.” Once you pray it. HE WILL. He will take you up on it.
Also, my mind is going and going and I started to worry that I’d be doing my children a disservice by raising them in a bubble. Jesus wants us to LOVE OTHERS. We can’t love others if we don’t even see them. We have to open our eyes. We have to open our arms. We have to open our hearts. We can help each other, y’all. We can be BIGGER. We can make things happen for others. We can LOVE. We have to start with our perspective.
Family ministry.
