Note: Today is actually N’s 1/2 birthday. He’s 3 and a 1/2 today. I wrote this 6 months ago, on his 3rd birthday, but today seemed like the perfect day to share. Happy 1/2 Birthday, Little Man!
To My N, on your 3rd Birthday,
Three years ago, on this very day, I fell in love. You opened those huge, majestic eyes of yours, looked right into my soul, and I was a goner. I simply handed my heart over to you. At that time, I had no idea how much that would mean, how deep my love for you would run, how much it would grow. Now, I gaze at you, my big 3-year-old boy, with an adoration that is simply unmatched. To me, it’s like gazing at the sun. I’ve never witnessed such innocence, such wonder, such a naturally loving, sweet soul. You are divine. Don’t get me wrong, my dear, I’m under no illusions that you are perfect. You wear me out – even on our very best days! You aren’t perfect, but you are my perfection. You’re a contradiction of the perfectly imperfect. You are THREE — easily angered, quick to react, emotional, resistant to sleep, full of attachment issues, etc. But, it all just makes you YOU. So, today, on your birthday, I’m feeling sentimental. Of course. Naturally. If I could just bottle you up, capture a piece of you at 3, paint the perfect picture of you… just as you are right now… maybe I could keep that piece of you forever. A written photograph of the boy who has my heart.
At 3, you are …
-
kisses and giggles and silliness
-
snuggle-buggles and bedtime stories
-
lullabies and afraid of monsters
-
a lover of books
-
endless chatter and questions
-
my best helper
-
stuffed animals and your best friend (Curious) “Georgie”
-
running shoes and running fast
-
riding your red tricycle round and round
-
PB&J and cheese quesadillas
-
fake tattoos and stickers
-
chasing Harper
-
a charming little tease
-
muscle shirt wearer
-
family time lover
-
kind soul
-
new big brother
… and SO much more.
My heart aches a little every single day as I watch you grow and change. Though, I know this is something that’s impossible for you to understand right now. I hope that one day you will … as you hold your very own babies. I yearn to keep you little, to keep you mine, to hold you close always. Yet, I enjoy watching you grow and become the boy (and man) that you are meant to be. Still, you’ll always be my baby!
Happy Birthday Favorite Boy!!
I’ll love you till the end of time…
–Your Momma
So beautiful, sweet mama. I have tears in my eyes and a smile on my face. 🙂
Lori, this is my favorite entry so far. I was touched very deeply by it. “N” is a very special person who has touched us all much the same way. He is a deep “soul” with a gift from God to affect people. I don’t know yet how he will do it but I know he will be able to do it in his life because he was born with this. He has incredible intuitive powers for a three year old, which he has had for some time now. I remember when you told him “Gram” was visiting by herself for a while; he immediately deduced that “Pops” does not miss me since I was not coming. Pretty intuitive (if wrong) for a two year old. Those giant “two full moons” eyes are connected to a soul with the same size and light shining in it for him. I am convinced “N” can accomplish much in his life with God’s hand on him. Your writing captures him pretty well and I too wish we could just “freeze the moment” and hold him selfishly where he is; a little fellow who holds our hearts in his own and catches us with his laughter and wonderful wisdom. Also I pretty much remember feeling the same way about you when you were three.